It’s a consequence of belonging to industry trade associations that those associations sell your email address to companies that are looking for business partners.

Sidebar to any trade association flacks who are reading this: don’t act like you don’t, we know you do.

As a result, I get a lot of spam from overseas manufacturers looking to flog their wares.

Much of it is pointless and banal, with hundreds of Me-Too brands offering the same tired and boring copycat products as everyone else.

But some of it is entertaining, and I actually enjoy skimming it before deleting them.

Sometimes their fractured English and malapropisms form surreal, unintentional beat poetry.

Dear Sir/ Madam:

This is Nacy from the manufacturer Topsource (Shenzhen) Trading Co,Ltd. specializing in producing iphone accessories and other 3C products in Shenzhen,China. We have been in this industry for over 3 years, please have a look at our website,,you will find there are many fashion and popular gadgets for digital products. Anyway,you could find some other items which you can take for yourself or as a gift for your friends , and you can also put them on your market. Any inquiries about our products, please do not hesitate to contact us. We are looking forward to establish win-win business relations with you.

Many Thanks & Best Regards,
Nacy

And another one that combines beat poetry with a hilarious fail at name-dropping:

Dear Sir,
Glad to hear that you’re on the market for flashlight and other promotional items. This is JOEY from Ningbo Zero IMP.&EXP.CO Ltd in China. We specialized in flashlights and premiums for 10 years, with the customers of Costco Supermarket, Walmarket, Dorky company etc., and hope to find a way to cooperate with you! The magnet telescopic pick up flashlight and 8 led pen light/stick light are the patent products. E-catalog will be provided if needed. Email me or just call me directly. Thank you!

Best regards,
Joey Qiu

Walmarket? The Dorky Company? Clearly these guys are a major player if the Dorky Company is buying from them!

Other times I’m amused by the sheer inappropriateness of their pitch. Like this one:

Dear Purchasing Manager,

Thanks for your reading and have a nice day. I get your email address from the internet. We would like to introduce our company and products and hope that we may build business cooperation in the future. We are the company that specializes in manufacturing and exporting various household products, as follows,
1, Microfiber products
2, PVA towel products
3, Shower cap
4, Laundry bag/basket
5, Ironing board cover
6, Apron and oven mitt
7, Cotton bag
Should any of these items be interested to you, please let me know, we will be glad to give you details. Look forward to receiving your reply

Best regards,
Chris

Now THAT was someone who did absolutely no qualifying research before reaching out to me.

And then, every great once in a while a product comes along that is absolutely magnificently bizarre, both in its premise and its pitch. Behold!

Dear Sir,

Have you ever heard of Bluetooth gloves please ? this gloves have the same functions as bluetooth earphones. the button on the gloves will enable you to answer phone calls without having to take cell phones out of your pocket, and will also enable you to make phone calls without having to take off your gloves as the cell phone touch screen will be able to sense the special white tip of each glove finger as well as each of our actual finger. please see pictures below this is totally new stuff in the market,every bod would love it in this cold winter,please get back to us if you are interested

Best Regards
Michael

Finally! It may not technically be a hands-free device, but at last we have a Bluetooth accessory that makes you look like an even bigger dork when you use it than just wearing an earpiece!

Hmm, maybe he should pitch it to Dorky Company!