By John Hood
The Farm

When I’m in downtown San Francisco, I have an internal alarm clock that tells me when to get the heck out. It’s a different time on different days. I have to reprogram as soon as it’s no longer working right.

I got that sick feeling yesterday at around 2:15 p.m. I started feeling claustrophobic and anxious. It was time to get outta Dodge. My alarm was sounding loudly in my gut. Tragically, I was too late. I hopped on the freeway and headed to the Bay Bridge to make my escape. I was greeted with brake lights as far as the eye could see. It was Thursday and everyone was trying to escape the Bay Area at the same time.

My conclusion: Thursday is the new Friday in the Bay Area. And Tuesday is the new Monday.

So, this weekend I am going to have Saturday brunch. It only makes sense if Thursday is the new Friday. We now have a three-day workweek in California. The other days are “work from home” in super exaggerated air quotes. Things like the three-day weekend are starting to disappear from our vernacular. Booking a vacation around federal holidays is pretty much over. No need. We can just “work from home.”

On Thursdays, traffic is a total disaster. It’s a mess. I am going to propose the obvious solution: we should cut it to a two-day workweek.

The two-day workweek will fix my Thursday traffic. Why can’t Wednesday be the new Friday? What did Wednesday do to get totally hung out to dry here? Wednesday is still just Wednesday. Not fair! Not fair at all.

So, if we make Wednesday the new Friday, then every day gets to be a new day. This is equity and inclusion at its finest. And everyone can “work from home” a little more.

Let’s dig a little deeper into my logic. The more I type, the more I am falling in love with my own idea.

If we were to cut it to a one-day workweek, that would just be silly. That is way too over the top. We all agree that working five full days is brutal. It’s just an old-timey, out-of-date tradition. Nobody knows why it started. It was just cast upon us like a net of misery. Five days! Crazy.

COVID came and we all quickly learned that Netflix still worked, even if we didn’t go to work that day. Netflix still works and microwave burritos still burn the roof of your mouth. Why were we doing all this work all of the time? “L.A. Law” is not going to binge-watch itself!