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Worst or Best of Times

00340_00180There is a tale of a Chinese farmer who had an old horse used for tending his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills. The farmer went to the Zen master for wisdom saying, “This is so bad!” The Zen master replied, “Good? Bad? We will see.”

A few days later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills, and this time the farmer ran to the Zen master saying, “This is so good!” The Zen master replied, “Good? Bad? We willsee.”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. This accident happened in a time when a broken leg meant a life of disability. The farmer went to the Zen master saying, “This is so bad!” The Zen master replied, “Good? Bad? We will see.”

Some weeks later, war broke out and the army marched into the village. They required every able-bodied young man join their forces. When they saw the farmer’s son with his weakened leg, they let him off…
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The meaning of this story is pretty clear: Our mind makes notions of “good” and “bad” based on very limited information. If we could see the whole of a situation, then we might just say “we’ll see…” or feel that today’s circumstance was nothing more than a small part of a much larger plan.

It is so difficult for our minds to sit in an area of grey. Things must either be good or bad, black or white, happy or sad/angry. When we are content to sit in that moment of grey, life ironically becomes so much simpler, so much more fulfilling.

Amazingly, many of the worst moments of my life have turned out to be some of my best. I commonly say that I wouldn’t wish Riley’s diagnosis and illness on my worst enemy, but that I wouldn’t change a thing. So much goodness has resulted. Of course, I wish that I could take her disease as my own, live her pain instead of her. That, however, is not meant to be. Also, don’t misunderstand me by saying that pain has not resulted from this and numerous other horrible situations. However, we have a choice in pursuing the good in every situation.

That bad event gave me an understanding of what it means to be a father, to love, to be loyal, and to sacrifice. I was able to build a relationship with my daughter that most will never experience but that will thrive for our lifetimes. That event put me on the path to healing my relationship with Riley’s amazing mother – Allison. So much perspective, positive decision making, and heart felt love for others has come from that day of pain.

May the tragic events of our lives drive us to become closer to those around us, to push us to love others more deeply, and help us to reach out to those in need more frequently.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus (Greek born slave to Rome who later become a great philosopher and teacher)

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