Strange Re-Tales: If It Fits It Ships

A square red peg hammered into a round hole surrounded by small pieces of the peg. Hammer in background. On a white background. Selective focus. Metaphor for a misfit, incompatibility.

There is ALWAYS a way!

There are all kinds of lovely aphorisms about how important it is to prepare ahead of time:

Forewarned is forearmed

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Measure twice, cut once

I could go on.

The thing about aphorisms and common wisdom is, to borrow another one, that they so often go noted more in the breach than the observance.

When I worked in retail, cash and carry sales were routine.

All these years later, and I assume that they still are. I know I’ve hypothesized in the past that the reason that the most popular size of flat-panel TV is 50-ish inches isn’t down to price, it’s because that’s the largest box that will fit inside the average sport utility vehicle.

Not that people are always daunted by the size of their vehicle.

I have a lot of awkward cash and carry stories, but the one that stands out was the two guys 20 years ago who bought a 36-inch Sony CRT TV.

They paid cash for it, and I brought it out to their car in the parking lot on a dolly, only to find that their car was a 2-door hatchback.

You would think that someone who was going out to by a TV would plan ahead and bring a bigger vehicle.

They were determined though.

I watched, aghast, as they wedged the cube-like box as far into the open hatch as it would go, and while one guy held it in place, the other grabbed, I kid you not, a roll of duct tape and began duct taping the box to the back of the car.

I made a point of not laying a hand on this debacle, so as not to create any liability for myself, and excused myself as soon as it was polite to do so.

They even tipped me $20, for some reason.