“Have you ever spoken with the common man? It is not edifying.” – Johannes Cabal

It’s that quote from a character in a work of fiction that I find running through my head this week as a result of trying to sell some furniture on Kijiji.

It’s hard to come together on something when you and the other party are clearly operating on two entirely different sets of rules.

First off, it’s bad form to open with price and start negotiating before you’ve even seen the goods in person.

One ad I ran I listed some old IKEA furniture as a set for $100.

I got one email response right away with only one line:

“$80”

I didn’t even bother to respond.

Then I got another email, that asked me to text them. That text conversation went little better:

Two hours after I didn’t respond to their last offer they texted back “Are u interested”?

I dunno, I thought that “Have a great day” was a polite way of me saying “this conversation is over.”

Lowballing and counter-offers only work under a limited set of circumstances. For one thing, you actually have to be there in person, face to face.

At least have the nerve to show up, hold up four twenty dollar bills and lie that “this is all I have on me.”

The buyer always says that.

They’ve got their wallet with the rest of their money in their back pocket. As a seller, squeeze a little harder and they’ll pull out more money.

You know that. I know that. We all know that.

Lowballing before you’ve even shown up to look over the goods is laziness, pure and simple. And whether it’s second-hand furniture or a million dollar business deal, I’m not just going to roll over and reward laziness.

I expect to see the other party put in some work, and sweat a little.

That’s why these forays into selling stuff used on Kijiji always make me glad to get back to my day job of negotiating with professionals who know what they’re doing.

Lastly, since the headline demands it: