I’m sorry – I’m writing this article on an iPad, and auto-correct changed my text to the title above when I typed in “Buzzwords”.  But the example saves me the trouble of defining one of the biggest buzzwords: “Intuitive.”

But now that THAT one is taken care of, I’d like to review the actual AV industry definitions of the words that are all over that bag of literature that you lugged home from Las Vegas.

Robust: The device is made from industrial-grade wrought iron and is three times as dense as the “non-ruggedized” version. This phrase says nothing about its electronic quality, but it is large, imposing, and can be used to prop open the largest doors.
Modular: The device will arrive in separate pieces, from multiple locations, on different days. The least expensive piece, a completely necessary adapter, will go into backorder, preventing the use of the device until the day after the show you bought it for.

Scalable: The device accommodates a variable number of inputs and outputs, in increments that let you choose between buying it too large or too small.

Network-Enabled: The product has its own web server, and generates a control page to allow you to configure it remotely. When you try, and it crashes, it will automatically send you an email to let you know.

Next Generation: A product that will be debugged and have a finished manual by the time your children grow up.

Revolutionary: The product will, within 48 hours, give you the urge to pick up a gun and lead a revolt against the manufacturer. Stop after the threatening letters. Think of your family.

Industry-Changing: The entire beta test team was driven so crazy they have since gone on to jobs in other fields

Hot-Swappable: The product goes down during heavy use, as in “during shows.” But you will be able to get it back up and running while the audience watches you take second-degree burns handling the blown parts.

Stay tuned for next issue, when we’ll review another brochure. That’s all for the first one in the pile.

rAVe Rental [and Staging] contributor Joel R. Rollins, CTS-R, is General Manager of Everett Hall Associates, Inc. and is well known throughout the professional AV industry for his contributions to industry training and his extensive background in AV rental, staging and installation. Joel can be reached at Joel can be reached at joelrollins@mac.com