WWCT? – What would Columbus think?

For those of you who are not at work today, congratulations – you get a Monday day off. For those of us who are at work today, I’m sure that you are truly devastated that you are unable to stay at home, on the couch, relaxing, in order to celebrate the day that Columbus stumbled upon this great land of ours.

I’m just curious, though: What would Columbus think TODAY if he were to see and hear all of the things that America has going on? And I’m talking both positive AND negative.

Such as:

• What would he think of Monday Night Football? Heck, what would he think of our obsession with football, period?
  • Not to mention, how awful Chris Berman is…
  • Or Dennis Eckersley’s hair… I mean, come on. It’s 2011, Dennis. Get a cut.
• What about the drive-thru at Hardee’s? What about the concept of a drive-thru at all?
• Cell phones? iPads?
• Healthcare? Medicare? Obamacare? Hedontcare?
• Wal-mart greeters?
• Sunscreen?
• Lou Gehrig’s disease?
• Stouffer’s Frozen Lasagna?
• Low sodium soy sauce?
• Bill Cosby’s sweaters?
• Lady GaGa?
• Lawnmowers?
• The elliptical machine at the gym?

Sure, these are all incredibly random questions to ask of Columbus, but I’m being rather serious. Do you think Columbus had ANY clue what was in store for this “new world” he “found”?

Leave a comment below with either a question YOU’D like to ask Columbus, OR what you think Columbus would say to some of these things.

Meanwhile, I’m going to celebrate by walking in to Matthew Perry’s house and telling him I live there now.

Happy Columbus Day!