Twas the night before Christmas, in my brand new Smart house

Processors were purring, above keyboard and mouse.

The stockings were hung for him and for her,

And the flames were controlled by remote heat sensors.

 

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

Their Hue bulbs transitioned from greens then to reds.

And mamma and I, in need of some rest,

Were all comfy cozy, thanks to our Nest.

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I grabbed my iPad to see what was the matter.

I logged into the live IP camera feed,

And entered my password, a strong one indeed.

 

The camera was clear despite little light

It was color by day and IR by night.

I was examining multiple windows all tiled,

That were fed to an NVR and all stored and filed.

 

When all of a sudden, so lively and quick,

The motion detector performed a great trick.

More rapid than eagles it jumped into action,

And the whole home system started a chain reaction.

 

“Lights On! Now, Lutron! Watch! IC Realtime!

Record! Panasonic! And send all frames online!

Security system, the cops you will call!

Now flash away, flash away! Siren strobe, and all!”

 

From Z-Wave to Zigbee, Bluetooth to WiFi

Data was streaming all through the sky.

Triggering sensors, a wonder to see

All thanks to the world of the IoT.

 

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The panicked scrambling of reindeer hoofs.

As I rotated my roof cam, PTZ’d  around,

Out of the chimney I saw St. Nicholas bound.

 

He was drenched in sweat, from his head to his feet,

He jumped in his sleigh and slumped in his seat.

His bundle of Toys was dropped and all spilled,

Santa needed his nitroglycerin pills!

 

I quickly had 911 on the line,

Thanks to LTE and Apple Facetime!

Up to the roof, like an arrow from a bow,

Poor Santa’s face was as white as the snow.

 

I checked for a pulse but I couldn’t find it,

And then I remembered my wrist, the Fit Bit!!!

Around his arm quickly, the bracelet I snapped,

Then pulled up the data on my trusty App.

 

He was chubby and plump, but he was alive,

And I showed the medic when he arrived!

They strapped him to a gurney as he held up his head,

And gave me a look that would render most dead.

 

NFC turned the lock, and I went straight to work,

Filling all the stockings, and feeling like a jerk.

Transporting the presents from the roof to the home,

With the help of my tablet, WiFi controlled drone!

 

I ate all the cookies and chugged the milk down,

Then deleted all files and cookies I found.

No evidence here, I sighed aloud.

“Happy Christmas to all…Oh no!  The Cloud!”