It’s been said of Times Square in New York City that if you stand there in one spot long enough you’ll see everybody you’ve ever met. By that same token, if you spend long enough working in retail, or for that matter just plain working with the general public, you’ll see almost everything.

I spent so long on the retail sales floor that I’ve had experiences with customers that range from the entertaining to the downright surreal. These are some of them.

Radio Shack Return

One day a little old lady walked into my Sony Store (back before they were re-badged as “Sony Style”), took an Optimus-brand clock radio out of its bag, put it on the counter and said “I’d like to return this.”

“I’m sorry ma’am.” I said as politely as I could, “But that’s not one of our products.”

“Yes it is,” she insisted, “I bought it right here in the mall!”

“That may be” I replied, “but you didn’t buy it from our store.”

Now she started getting testy. “Yes I did! I bought it right here in the mall!”

“Ma’am” I said, and I’ll admit that I could have been more tactful. “THIS is a Radio Shack clock radio. You are in a SONY STORE. We only sell Sony here.”

“Oh.” She said, somewhat deflated. “Well, where’s the Radio Shack?”

“Go out in the mall, turn right and it’s about fifty feet away.” I told her, more gently this time.

And just for the icing on the cake, when she walked out she turned left instead of right. For all I know she could still be trying to find the Radio
Shack.

Naptime

I worked, briefly, for a major department store in their Big Ticket department, which comprised Furniture, Electronics, Appliances, and Mattresses.

One day I was at the appliance sales counter with my client binder making phone calls. Across the aisle from me was a bedroom room setting that the Visual Presentation department had mocked up with a side table, dresser, and Queen size bed, with linens and pillows from the housewares department.

While I’m standing there on the phone a disheveled looking man, clearly intoxicated, stumbles down the aisle, and walks up to the room setting display.

He then took off his coat, shirt, shoes, and pants, and climbed under the covers of the display bed and went to sleep.

“I have to call you back.” I said to the customer I had been speaking with on the phone.

I called Security, who came and woke the man with more gentleness then I expected. They further encouraged him to get dressed and go somewhere else.