In My Next Life, I’m Gonna Be a Pharmacist

Gated-pharmacy-0114What a great profession — a pill counter (sort of).

Actually, pharmacies now have machines that count pills for them.

When my local grocery store added a pharmacy about a dozen or so years ago, I was very excited to learn there was a Starbucks opening right next to the awful, local coffee shop I’d hated ever since I was made to feel like a peasant for ordering (and drinking) something as mainstream as a mocha. The long glare from the “barista” at my local coffee shop clearly communicated to me that I was way too conventional for their taste — that next time I entered their hallowed café, I’d better order something like a Caffè Medici or a Café de olla — certainly not a mocha or the likes of an iced coffee.

Back to my pharmacy excitement.

The idea that I wouldn’t have to make two stops, in one day, the two or three times a year I needed both groceries and medicine on the way home or to the office was reason to celebrate — efficiency is something I value.

But, this whole pharmacy fantasy has long since subsided. I guess I’m not frequenting it enough to understand the logic in how these people work. Is pharmacy school run by bankers?

This morning, I needed to pick up a prescription and I headed over to the grocery and grabbed a dozen or so for the office while I was there. Well, as I approached the pharmacy-side of the grocery, it was clear they weren’t open yet as their war-zone-like gated entrance was blocking my way to the pharmacist. It was 8:45 — clearly a full 15 minutes before I was allowed to approach the “what’s your birthdate/confirm your phone number” receptionist.

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So, I head back over there on my lunch break.

Nada. No dice. Negative. Nope.

Apparently, the norm is for pharmacists to take 1:15 minute lunch breaks right in the middle of, well, the lunch hour — while the rest of us are on lunch, too. I can see why, however, as they’ve spent three hours there already making sure the auto-pill-counting machine counts the pulls and automatically placed them in the right pre-printed, self-labeling, child-proof pill bottle. That three hour time span must be stressful — so why not take a lunch from noon to 1:30?

Seriously, why are we all working 10 to 12 hour days in AV when we can have the cushy pill-counting stress of a pharmacist.

When I come back in my next life, I’m definitely going to go to pharmacy school!