So here we are, in the middle of the commerce-crazy, pre-holiday period. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Big-Box Wednesday, Gifts-for-your-Goldfish Thursday… the market is endless in its ability to create reasons to buy, and the statistics to back it up. In addition to being bombarded with “special” days on which we are supposed to troop like lemmings to our nearest mall, we are given lots and lots of numbers to back it up. Its awfully similar to the way our industry works, where the only thing more important than the statistics about technology are the ways in which they are manipulated.

Many of those of you who know me know that I am a big fan of Samuel Clemens, otherwise known by his pen name, Mark Twain. Today would have been Twain’s176th birthday, and a great quote of his struck me as being very applicable today:

“Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.”

We see this constantly in our industry. One company’s customer satisfaction rating is 81% and a competitor’s is 76% – not a huge difference until you show it on a bar chart whose scale is from 75% to 82%. The statistic is still true, but the chart now shows a HUGE difference.

Another I heard today from the phone company. It was a blurb that says that while cable modems can deliver as little as 59% of their maximum bandwidth during peak periods, DSL always delivers ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of its maximum.

What they DON’T mention is that 59% of cable’s maximum bandwidth is still much faster than 100% of basic DSL’s.

(Also: please note that while Twain attributed a quote to Disraeli, there is no evidence, anywhere, that Disraeli ever said it. Which is another good way to disguise a distortion – attribute it to somebody else).

Anyway, while you are all fighting guards with pepper spray for the last video game at the local Wal-Mart, remember to take the statistics you are given with a grain of salt.

And remember that ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the readers I polled this morning like my column better than Gary’s.*

JRR

*(readers polled included my mom, my wife, and my dog)