The (Know-It-All, Do-It-This-Way) Consultant

consultant-1014OK, here goes:

I think I know what I’m talking about. No, I know what I’m talking about. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Well maybe you think you know what you’re talking about. Actually, no, you really don’t know what you’re talking about. But if you knew what you were talking about, you wouldn’t need help. But you do need help because you really don’t know what you’re talking about. But I do know what I’m talking about so since you don’t know what you’re talking about you might want to listen to me. Actually you’ll definitely want to listen to me since you don’t know what you’re talking about. So if you listen to me, even though you don’t know what you’re talking about you may just know what you’re talking about afterward. No, you will definitely know what you’re talking about afterward. However you may need to pay close attention to what I’m saying to know what you’re talking about. No, you will need to pay close attention to what I’m saying to know what you’re talking about. And when you know what you’re talking about you may just be on the same level as me. Actually, no, that will never happen but you may just be close to what I know. Wait, correction, that’s impossible but you will certainly be more than dangerous. Yes that’s it, more than dangerous. OK, maybe just dangerous, but I think that’s good enough.

That’ll be $2,500. Pay to the attention of Dangerous Minds Consulting. Have a good day.