If you’re at all familiar with my columns, you know one of the drums I beat regularly is the importance of follow-up —whether you’re trying to win new clients or take care of the ones you already have.

Closely tied to that is my frequent soapbox about CRM systems — client relationship management — and the role they play in making sure your follow-up is both timely and effective.

That last part is key: being effective.

It’s not enough to simply follow up. You have to do it well.

Let me give you an example of what not to do.

Late last year, I paid off my car. Two days after the final payment cleared, someone from the dealership texted me. Clearly, the finance department at the car brand tipped them off.

I responded politely, saying that having no car payments was more valuable to me than owning a new vehicle.

Fast-forward to just last week, and I got another text from the dealership. I don’t know if it was from the same person or someone new, but this time, the message took a different approach. They claimed to have a customer looking for my make and model and asked if I’d be interested in trading in my car if they could get me the same or a lower monthly payment.

Here’s the problem: somewhere between last year and now, they forgot — or failed to note — that my car is paid off.

That’s on them for not updating their CRM.

So, I sent the same reply as before: no thanks, I’d rather have no payment than a new car. About 30 seconds after I hit send, they called me. I let it go to voicemail.

In both interactions, they made the same mistake: they focused entirely on what they wanted, not what I wanted.

They wanted a sale. At no point did they ask me what I needed, what my timeline might be, or even if I was open to future conversations.

Let me ask you this: if you barrage a prospective customer with what you want and never ask what they want or need, how likely are you to close the deal?

Spoiler: not very likely.

Here’s the rubric I follow when reaching out: I start by asking what they need.

Even when I’m “just following up,” I treat it as another chance to qualify them.

Instead of leading with what I want (a sale), I lead with what they want.

That question can take many forms. If I don’t know someone well, I might ask, “Are there any challenges you’re dealing with right now?” or “Is there anything you’re having trouble sourcing from your main vendors?”

The whole goal is to get them talking so I can better understand their needs. And here’s the thing: most people would rather talk about themselves than listen to you talk about you.

Another secret? If you’re a good listener, that’s often enough to make someone decide they like you. And people are more likely to buy from someone they like than from someone they don’t.